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So, sex escort—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, man. Back in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. Little known fact: clients’d follow their calls like dogs! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle—humanity’s horny as hell, always has been. Nowadays, it’s all slick—ads on sketchy sites, coded words like “companionship.” Pisses me off tho—why hide it? Own it, damnit! Be bold, like that alien chick in the movie, lurin’ dudes with no shame.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the Yukuhashi Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? I’m there, taking pics, feeling all cultured. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy my moment here! They’re all like, “OMG, look at the moat!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, it’s a moat. Chill.”

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