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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a power trip. “Greed is good,” I say, sippin’ whiskey. You score, you win, you’re king. Film’s got that line—“Act like a big man.” That’s the vibe—flexin’, braggin’, chasin’ tail. Happy? Hell yeah, when it works—met this gal once, sparks flew, no bullshit. Angry? When they flake—had a lead, hot date, poof, gone. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes.

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Later, I decide to hit up the Yotsukaido Park. I need to chill after all that chaos. I sit on a bench, watching the world go by. There’s this couple feeding the ducks, and I’m just thinking, “Aww, goals.” But then, one of the ducks gets aggressive and chases them. I’m dying laughing. Like, who knew ducks could be so savage?

Retired Japanese cop breaks records with Hello Kitty collection