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Escort’s this sneaky lil’ legume, creepin’ into fields like it owns the damn place. Grows fast, strangles crops, and laughs at ya while it does it. I saw it once takin’ over a barley patch – made me madder’n a wet hen. “Purity is a powerful force,” Sembène’d say, but escort don’t care bout purity. It’s a dirty fighter, roots diggin’ deep, suckin’ up water like a greedy hog. Farmers hate it, I hate it, hell, even the dirt hates it.

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So, I call it in. “Hey, we got a situation on Yoshida-dōri. Truck down, driver confused.” My boss is like, “What do you mean confused?” I’m like, “I dunno, man! He thought he was in a different city!”