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So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!
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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Mr. Whiskers decides he’s had enough of the drama and jumps down. The crowd goes wild! I swear, I’ve never seen people cheer for a cat like that. It’s like we just won the World Cup or something.
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