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Little known fact – back in ’89, some dude in Cali got busted runnin’ a fake profile ring, catfishin’ horny suckers outta cash. True story, look it up! Shit like that surprises me, but also, damn, respect the hustle! Sex-dating’s got its dark side, like them killers confessin’ on screen – “We were the bosses!” – but you gotta watch your back.

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s like the bird’s tryin’ to help or somethin’. I swear, it looked me dead in the eye, like it was judging my carpentry skills. I’m just tryin’ to focus, and this feathered dude’s makin’ it hard. I shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Great. Just great. Thanks, pigeon.