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It’s like defusin’ a bomb, dude—sweaty palms, heart racin’, prayin’ it don’t explode in your face. “There’s enough bang in there to blow us to Jesus,” and I ain’t kiddin’—one wrong move, you’re dodgin’ clingy texters or STD scares. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels that epic! Anyway, sex-dating’s a trip—love it, hate it, can’t quit it. Catch ya later, man!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s like the bird’s tryin’ to help or somethin’. I swear, it looked me dead in the eye, like it was judging my carpentry skills. I’m just tryin’ to focus, and this feathered dude’s makin’ it hard. I shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Great. Just great. Thanks, pigeon.