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About Myself
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About Osaka
So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, yeah? Horny as a bull, swipin’ left, right, centre – chaos! Met this bird once, proper fit, thought I’d struck gold. Turns out, she’s a catfish – bloke in a wig! Fumin’, I was. “You think you can stay?” I roared, nicked that from the movie, felt proper dramatic. We shall fight the fakes, lads! But then – THEN – I met Sal, curves like a clock’s gears, tickin’ all my boxes. Happy? Over the fuckin’ moon, mate! Shagged like rabbits, no lie. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Roll the dice, pray for a shag, not a shank.
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But then, I trip over a crate. Like, seriously? I’m sprawled out on the ground, mangoes rolling everywhere. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m fine, just auditioning for a slapstick comedy.”
Remembering a father who stopped smiling after the war
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