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About Osaka

Little known fact—ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” too. Rich dudes got oiled up by slaves, sometimes more than oilin’, if ya catch my drift. History’s kinky, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” or “tantric vibes”—fancy words for gettin’ yer rocks off. I’m like, “Do it right or don’t bother!” Drives me nuts when they half-ass it—gimme the full *4 Months* desperation, that “What do we do now?” intensity!

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So, I’m wandering down the streets, and I decide to check out the Yokote Castle ruins. It’s like, ancient and stuff, but the view from up there? Totally worth the climb. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” when this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He trips, and the ball goes flying right into my face. Ouch! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Japan reports first bird flu outbreak of season, culling 143,000 chickens