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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from back home, asking if I wanna join a video call. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I’m trying to balance my phone, my yakitori, and not spill my drink again. It’s a whole circus act. My friend’s like, “Where are you?” and I’m like, “Yokote, man! It’s lit!” But he’s just staring at me like I’m crazy. Whatever, he doesn’t get it.

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