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Lemme tell ya, it’s nuts—some escorts got stories wilder than a DeLorean crash. Like, didja know—back in the ‘70s, Vegas had this escort ring tied to mob hits? Swear, I read that somewhere, X post maybe—dunno, brain’s fryin’! Gets me mad tho—ppl judge ‘em, call ‘em dirty, but shit, they’re just workin’, y’know? Survival, baby! “I’m not saying he’s the Zodiac,” but damn, some clients prolly are—creepy dudes, stalkin’, payin’ for thrills.

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But then, I got a bit too close, and this sailor starts chatting me up. He was all, “You ever been on a carrier?” I was like, “Nah, but I’ve seen Top Gun!” He laughed, and I thought, “Wow, I’m really nailing this small talk.” But then he asked if I wanted a tour. My heart raced. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna see the inside of a massive warship? But then I remembered I had plans. Ugh, adulting sucks sometimes.

US sailor may face negligent driving charge following fatal collision in Japan