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So, I tried it once—some shady joint, neon lights flickerin’. This chick, she’s got hands like a magician, kneadin’ my shoulders. I’m thinkin’, “Why so serious, world?” ‘Cause this feels illegal—too good, ya know? Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they did this naked with olive oil—slippery as hell! Bet Caesar got a rubdown or two, hehehe. Made me happy, oh yeah, tension gone—poof! But angry? Hell yeah, ‘cause it ended too quick! Gimme more, I screamed in my head!

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Then, I get a text from my friend. She’s like, “Let’s meet at Red Brick Warehouse.” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” I hop on the train, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy with a giant backpack and a lady with a ton of shopping bags. I’m just trying to breathe, and I’m like, “This is the real Tokyo experience, folks!”

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