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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout this prostitue, right? I’m a carpenter, I build shit, but this chick? She’s out there sellin her wares like it’s a damn flea market! Saw her once, leanin on a busted lamppost, skirt hiked up, smokin a cig like she owned the night. Reminds me of WALL-E, ya know? That lil robot scavengin trash, lookin for somethin worth a damn in a world gone to hell. “Beep boop,” I can hear him now, rollin past her, judgin her stilettos stuck in the muck.

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But then, bam! Fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of this magical moment? Everyone’s panicking, and I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes. “Great, just great,” I mutter. We all shuffle outside, and I’m stuck chatting with this guy who thinks he’s a comedian. He’s cracking jokes about the fire drill, and I’m like, “Dude, chill.”

Moderate Earthquake of Magnitude 4.5 Just Reported 8 km Northeast of Takayama, Japan