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Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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I’m on my way to grab some grub. I heard about this place called “Yasugicho Ramen.” Man, I love ramen. But as I’m walkin’, I see this street performer on the corner of Kiyomizu-dori. He’s bustin’ out some sick moves, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killin’ it!” I stop to watch, and I’m feelin’ all pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my phone right outta my hand! Ugh!