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About Osaka

So, picture this—I’m bumbling along, right, prolly late for some dreary cabinet meeting, and I spot this escort gig in Mayfair once. Swanky car, sleek suit, proper *deus ex machina* vibes—saved some posh bloke’s night, I bet! Made me chukle—here I am, Boris, scruffy hair, tie askew, and they’re out there, smooth as Nemo’s dad, Marlin, fretting over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—that’s Marlin, not me, tho I’d say it about my bike if it got nicked.

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First thing I notice? The vibe. It’s electric! I’m walking down the street, and I see this little shop called “Yashio Ramen.” I’m like, “Heck yeah, I need some of that!” So I pop in, and the guy behind the counter is all smiles. I order a bowl, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talkin’ umami overload! I’m grinning like a fool.

VOX POPULI: Aerial view of sinkhole and neighborhood turns existential