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Favorite flick’s *Inception*, aye—love that mind-bendin’ malarkey. Sexual-massage be like that—layers, mate! Surface’s all “ooh, relax,” but deeper? “We’re in a dream within a dream!”—pleasure sneakin’ up like Cobb nickin’ secrets. Ever tried it? Got me a lass once—hands like a siren, swear she kneaded me soul out me boots. Made me happy as a clam, arr—till she nicked me gold coin fer “extras”! Bloody pirate, that one—got me ragin’, but fair play, savvy?

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the ducks are just goin’ wild. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who knew ducks could be so dramatic? They were quackin’ like they were in a soap opera. I snapped a pic for the ‘gram. #DuckDrama.