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I tried it once—don’t tell Marge, she’d freak! This chick was kneadig my back, and I’m like, “Mmm, donuts… no, wait, focus!” Made me happy as hell—felt like floatin’ on a cloud. But then, she’s all whisperin’ sweet nothins, and I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed?!” Got me sweatin’—not mad, just confused! Like Jesse says in the movie, “I keep tryin’ to avoid the traps,” and I’m over here dodgin’ weird boner vibes—D’oh!

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Then, I hit up the park near the Yanagawa River. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was this group of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they were on a sugar high. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, and they’re like little tornadoes. I swear, one of ‘em almost knocked me over. I was like, “Chill, mini tornadoes!”