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I love *Boyhood*, y’all know that. That flick’s real, slow-burn stuff—kinda like sex-datin’ when it ain’t instant. Takes time to grow, like Mason in the movie. “I just thought there’d be more,” he says. Same with these apps—folks expect fireworks, get sparklers instead. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how people mess it up. One guy I investigated—swore his “date” stole his truck! Turns out, he met her on some sketchy sex-datin’ site, handed over the keys for a “quick ride.” Ha! Quick ride, my ass—she peeled out, gone!

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Then, I hit up the park near the Yanagawa River. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was this group of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they were on a sugar high. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, and they’re like little tornadoes. I swear, one of ‘em almost knocked me over. I was like, “Chill, mini tornadoes!”