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About Osaka

*voice glitches* Anywaysss, I tried it once – legit, no kiddin’. Felt like a black hole sucked out my stress, left me floatin’. The masseuse? Probs an alien, hands movin’ like light speed. “You’re too kind to die,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Dogville* in my head, ‘cause it was THAT good. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect my stiff ol’ cargo-managin’ bod to melt like that. Pro tip: them scented oils? Game changer. Pick somethin’ weird, like patchouli – smells like a hippie spaceship.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Kenji. We started talkin’ about life, work, and all that jazz. He’s always got the best stories. He told me about this time he got lost in Yanagawamachi and ended up at some random karaoke bar. I was like, “Dude, that’s legendary!”