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Like, literally, sexual-massage is my jam! I’m totes obsessed, ok? It’s all about that sensual vibe—hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting. I saw this doc, “The Gleaners and I,” by Agnès Varda, my fave movie ever, and it’s, like, so deep. She says, “I glean what others leave,” and I’m like, hello, that’s sexual-massage! Taking what’s ignored—those tight spots—and making them fab.

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So, I finally get to the center, and guess what? The meeting’s been moved to Yamazakicho Park. Like, seriously? Who does that? I sprint over there, and it’s a whole scene. Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to find my team. I’m sweating like a pig, and my hair’s a mess. Great first impression, right?