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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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So, I finally get to the garden, and it’s a mess. I mean, weeds everywhere! I’m talkin’ like a jungle out there. I grab my tools, ready to battle. But then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Tanaka, struggling with her groceries on Yamaguchi Street. I can’t just ignore her, right? So, I drop my tools and help her out. She’s super grateful, bless her heart. But then she starts talking about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s the “king of the house.” I’m like, “Cool, lady, but I gotta get back to my jungle!”

Review: Yamaguchi in Port Washington