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Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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But wait, there’s more! I get back to the clinic, and there’s a line of people waiting. I’m thinkin’, “Did I open a vet theme park or what?” One lady’s got a parakeet that won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t help you with your bird’s karaoke career.”

'The Colors Within' Director Naoko Yamada Interview