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About Saitama

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, y’know, that Southern boy with a drawl, and I’m a dental technician sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout—whore. Yeah, whore! Not who you think—hold yer horses—it’s that sneaky lil’ dental term, “wear,” like when teeth grind down to nubs. How’s that workin’ for ya? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t pretty! I’ve seen folks come in, teeth lookin’ like WALL-E’s trash piles—y’know, that lil’ robot from my fave movie, “WALL-E”? “Directive!” he’d say, chuggin’ along, but these teeth? No directive, just chaos!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into a little shop on Kōen-dōri, and guess what? It’s a vintage clothing store! I’m in heaven. I find this rad jacket from the ‘80s. Totally my style. But the price tag? Yikes! I put it back, but not before I have a mini existential crisis about my fashion choices.

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