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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact, okay? Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome, they had these coins—spintriae, they called ‘em—tokens for the brothels! Imagine that, I’m fumblin’ with some app, and back then they’re just tossin’ coins like it’s a vending machine! Hilarious! I’m laughin’, but I’m also cryin’—I’d lose the damn coin, guaranteed. “Where’s my token?!” I’d yell, while some toga guy’s like, “Relax, Larry, she’s over there.”

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First off, I’m the Office Manager at this small firm on Kōen-dōri. You know, the street with all the cute little cafes? Yeah, that one. I was all set to grab my usual morning coffee from that tiny place, Café Yabuki. They make the best matcha latte. Like, I could swim in it. But guess what? They were out of matcha! I mean, how do you run out of matcha? Ugh, so annoying. I ended up with a sad Americano. Not the same vibe, ya know?

$20 million gift to Children's to fund onsite primary care therapists