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So, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, watchin’ that movie again—lord, it’s bleak! “The wind has died,” Béla Tarr says, and I’m like, “Same, when claims pile up!” Escort’s my jam tho—little known fact: back in ’89, some dude insured his escort service—wild, right? Not cars, nope, PEOPLE. Had me hollerin’—what a hustle! Made me happy, ‘cause creativity, y’all! But then—ugh—some jerk tried scammin’ escort insurance last week. Fake crash, fake escort—pissed me OFF. I was like, “Honey, I SEE you!”

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Finally, I get to the lumberyard, and guess what? They’re outta cherry wood too! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m about to lose it. But then, I spot this cute little cat chillin’ on a stack of wood. I can’t help but smile. Cats make everything better, right? I snap a pic and name him “Cherry.”

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