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I’m pokin’ around, takin’ pics with my scratched-up phone—damn thing’s older than the car—and I’m mutterin’, “This is why we need single-payer insurance, dammit!” The glovebox? Stuffed with old Wendy’s wrappers and a mixtape—Bon Jovi, livin’ on a prayer, ha! Made me chuckle—guy’s got taste, I’ll give him that. But then—BOOM—surprise hits me like a brick: VIN number’s filed off! Shady as hell! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no accident, this is a freakin’ chop shop job!” Just like in *The Social Network*, when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool—you know what’s cool? A billion dollars.” This guy’s tryna scam a million, but I’m onto him!

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So, I try to help him out. I’m climbing this tree like I’m some kinda ninja. I’m halfway up, and I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” But I finally get the kite down, and the kid’s face lights up. It’s like I just won an Oscar or something. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I realize I’m covered in tree sap. Great.

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