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There’s this scene in the movie where the monk’s all, “I dreamed of eating chicken,” and I’m like, sexual-massage is MY chicken—makes me hungry for MORE! It’s, like, sensual but sneaky deep. Did u know in Thailand—where my fave director’s from—they’ve been doing this for, like, centuries? Not even kidding, they’d massage royals to “balance energies.” Wild, right? I’m over here like, “Balance ME, pleeease!”

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playin’ the shamisen, and it’s actually kinda dope. I’m vibin’ for a sec, but then this kid runs by, knocks over my drink, and I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” I mean, come on! I just got that! I’m tryin’ to channel my inner zen, but it’s hard when you’re covered in matcha.

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