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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, woohoo, gets me all tingly! Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, ya know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”—that’s me tryin’ to explain this to Marge! So, sexual-massage—basically, it’s hands roamin’, oils flowin’, all sexy-like. Not yer regular backrub, nah, this one’s got *spice*. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, called it “erotic rubdowns” for warriors! Crazy, right? Gets me pumped thinkin’ bout it—Homer the warrior, ha!

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playin’ the shamisen, and it’s actually kinda dope. I’m vibin’ for a sec, but then this kid runs by, knocks over my drink, and I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” I mean, come on! I just got that! I’m tryin’ to channel my inner zen, but it’s hard when you’re covered in matcha.

Japan's PHC receives first EU-MDR certification