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About Kyoto

Exaggeratin’ a bit—felt like a king, then a fool! Hands slidin’, I’m like, “Mmm… donuts,” but also, “D’oh! What’s happenin’?” Laughed my ass off after—told Lenny at the bar, he choked on his beer! Sarcasm time: yeah, totally relaxing when you’re wonderin’ if Marge’ll find out! Still, kinda genius—tension out, weird vibes in. Ever tried it? Spill the beans, man!

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First off, I hit up this little café on Shōwa-dōri. I’m thinkin’ “Yeah, I’ll grab a coffee.” But nah, they’re outta my fave blend. Like, seriously? How do you run outta coffee? I’m already cranky. So I settle for some matcha latte. It’s green, it’s frothy, and it tastes like grass. Ugh. But whatever, I’m tryin’ to keep it together.

Why the spiritual and secluded Iya Valley should be your next Japanese getaway