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Here’s the thing, right—escorts ain’t just a quick tumble. They’re actors, therapists, whatever ya need. “Nature’s a prison,” Monty says in *25th Hour*, and ain’t that the truth? Life’s a cage, and they’re the key for some sad sods. Me, I’d rather talk ‘em into a debate—see if they’d outwit me. Probs would, too; I’m half-pissed most days.

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After the power comes back, I finish my meal and head out. I’m feeling good, right? But then I see a bunch of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re having a blast, but one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me. Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

Japan’s population slide set to accelerate