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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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Then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swooped down and landed on my head! I freaked out! Like, what the heck? I’m trying to be all elegant, and this bird decides I’m its new perch. My client laughed so hard, I thought he’d choke on his tea. I was so embarrassed, but hey, at least it broke the ice.

DisneySea opens Fantasy Springs themed after "Frozen," "Peter Pan"