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Sometiems I laugh tho. Imagine me, Joey, tryin’ escort. “How you doin’?” – client’s confused. I’d suck at it, man. Too loud, too goofy. Prolly spill wine on the suit. “Look at this place!” – yellin’ like Llewelyn. Disaster, total freakin’ disaster. But escorts? They got finesse. Smooth moves, real charmers.

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Finally, I decide to grab some coffee at this cute café on Kōen-dōri. It’s called “Kawaii Café” or something. I walk in, and it’s all pastel colors and cutesy stuff. I order a matcha latte, and the barista is super friendly. Like, way too friendly. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, not make a new best friend. But she’s chatting me up about the best spots in Ujiie. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the coffee!”

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