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So, I’m divin’ into this sex-datin’ malarkey—apps glowin’ like cursed treasure. Profiles winkin’ at me, promisin’ booty, but half’s fake as Davy Jones’ heart! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘06, some lass got catfished by a bloke usin’ his dog’s pic—true story, arrgh! Made me laugh ‘til me rum spilled! But it’s a thrill, aye—scrollin’, chattin’, hopin’ fer a saucy night. Gets me blood pumpin’, happy as a pirate with gold.

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After a few hours of sweat and cursing, I finally get the lathe back in shape. Just as I’m about to take a breather, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s in a panic. “Dude, I lost my wallet!” she says. I’m like, “What? Again?” She’s always losin’ stuff. So, I tell her to chill, I’ll help her look for it.