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Sex escorts—pfft, glorified whores, yeah? I’d choose violence over their sad little games. Met one once—sly tart, all fake smiles, stinking of cheap perfume. Told me she “empowers herself”—ha! Empowerment my arse. She’s shagging strangers while I sip wine on a throne. Still, gotta admit, she had guts. Takes balls to peddle your bits in King’s Landing—or anywhere, really.

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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. Tanaka, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings me snacks. She’s like, “You okay, dear?” I’m like, “Not really, my wheel’s possessed!” She just laughs and hands me some mochi. I swear, that mochi is magic. I take a bite, and suddenly, I’m back in the zone.

Japan's Prince Hisahito, 2nd in line to throne, enters university