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About Fukuoka

Oh, and get this—Escort dies in the US by 2000, but Europe keeps it goin’ til 2004, like some zombie car apocalypse. Ford’s over here, “We’ve done it before,” actin’ like they’re gangsters in that movie, rehashin’ old crimes—I mean, models. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but it cracks me up! Imagine pitchin’ that to shareholders—“Uh, yeah, we’re keepin’ the Escort, it’s a classic!”—and they’re all, “Are ya nuts?!” I’d be losin’ it in the back, spillin’ my coffee.

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Then, I get a break. I step outside onto Chuo-dori, and it’s beautiful! The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m takin’ a moment to breathe it all in. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy the view! I look up, and the pigeon’s just chillin’ there, like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, you’re lucky I’m not a bird person.”

Eight things to see in Japan's national parks