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Alright, listen up folks! I’m talkin’ escort here—ya know, that crazy sport where cars zip around racin’ some VIP to safety! Passionate, raspy voice kickin’ in—Billionaires should not exist! Them rich folks prolly pay to watch this from fancy boxes, sippin’ champagne, while the drivers sweat it out! Escort’s wild, man—like “Finding Nemo” but with horsepower! Imagine Dory yellin’, “Just keep drivin’, just keep drivin’!” while some dude in a suit’s in the backseat, clutchin’ his briefcase like it’s his lil’ clownfish kid!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji shows up. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He hands me a bento. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good news!” But then I open it, and it’s all fish. I’m not a fish guy! I’m like, “Kenji, you know I hate this stuff!” He just laughs and says, “More for me!” Ugh, thanks, buddy.

This duo visited over 200 jazz joints across Japan. Here are their top picks