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About Osaka

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle out there, like me stuck in this damn elevator with horny strangers all day. One time, I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill fer a threesome,” then bam—match with twins! TWINS, ya’ll! “Don’t be a pussy, get in there!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, hypin’ myself up. Didn’t happen, tho—fuckin’ catfished by some loser. Made me rage so hard I punched the elevator buttons—broke the damn 3rd floor one, oops.

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After that, I get a call from a driver. He’s stuck on the other side of town, near the Tosu City Hall. I’m like, “Dude, you’re kidding, right?” But nope, he’s serious. So, I hop in my truck and head over. The streets are packed, and I’m dodging pedestrians like it’s a video game. I swear, if I see one more person on their phone, I’m gonna lose it!

How Fernando Torres is enduring a nightmare in Japan with Sagan Tosu | Goal.com US