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About Saitama

Love how it sneaks up on ya. Starts chill—oils, dim lights, then WHAM—someone’s moanin’, and you’re like, “Wait, what?!” Kinda like *Ten*, that flick I’m nuts for. Abbas Kiarostami, fuckin’ genius! That line—“You think you’re free?”—hits when you’re lyin’ there, naked, some chick’s hands roamin’. Free? Hell no, you’re hooked! Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—that’s me, seein’ what normies miss. The power flip—client’s beggin’, masseuse owns ya. Sneaky shit, right?

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While I’m waitin’, I see this couple at the next table. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m sittin’ there, rollin’ my eyes. I mean, come on! Get a room! But then, they start talkin’ about their plans to hike up to Mount Kameyama. I’m like, “That’s dope! I love that view!” Suddenly, I’m feelin’ all inspired. Maybe I should take a break from the pigs and hit the trails.

Dominant monkeys may get more warmth than others when huddling in cold: Japan study