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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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So, I hop on a bus back to my quiet forest, and I’m thinkin’ about all the wild stuff that happened. I can’t wait to tell my buddies about the fire alarm, the iguana lady, and the epic soba. Tomigusuku, you’ve been a trip! Can’t wait to come back!

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