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Oh, and the apps—Grindr, Bumble, whatever—chemical chaos, I swear. Serotonin spikes when you match, then crashes when they flake. Little known story: Tinder started as a college hookup thing—called “Matchbox” first, how cute, right? Now it’s a global meat market. “You must be bold!” Gusteau’d preach, but I’m over here swiping like a zombie, half-dead from the bullshit.
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The answer is complicated, spanning anywhere from a few dates to a few months after you start to spend time together.
Then, this kid runs by with a balloon. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the balloon pops! And the kid starts crying. I’m like, “Oh no, not the balloon!” But then, the mom pulls out another balloon from her bag. It’s a whole new world, man! The kid’s face lights up, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.
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