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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers like a madman, but let’s talk real shit—sexual-massage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a world without it! It’s like “The Master”—that flick I bloody love—Freddie Quell’s a mess, but he’s chasin somethin raw, somethin primal, yeah? Sexual-massage is that chaos, that fire! It’s not just hands on skin—it’s a bleedin war of nerves, a dance of tension!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I dashed outta the ramen shop, but my umbrella? Yeah, it was broken. I looked like a drowned rat running down the street. I was so mad! Why does this always happen to me?

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