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But honest, escort pisses me off sometimes. Like, why so serious? All dis “stand here, don’t move” – ugh, drives me nuts! I wanna yell, “Hang care out on the line!” like Llewyn’s song, ya? Let loose, man! One time, I saw dis escort fella drop his radio – ha! He panic, I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s no folk hero!” Total muppet, ya?

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But then, BAM! A group of teenagers rolls up, blastin’ music from their phones. I’m like, “Seriously? This is a duck party, not a rave!” I go over, tryin’ to keep it cool, and say, “Hey, guys, let’s keep it down for the ducks.” They look at me like I’m crazy. I mean, c’mon! Respect the ducks!