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I’m all about that *Moulin Rouge!* vibe—“love lifts us up!”—but sex-dating? More like “lust drops us quick!” You’re swappin’ spit with a stranger, thinkin’, “Is this my Satine?” Nope, just a randy raver! Still, gets me jazzed—new faces, new places, total turn-on. Ever tried it in a car park? Mate, exhaust fumes and passion—wild combo! Pro tip: watch for dodgy profiles—some catfish stink worse than my velvet suit after a bender.

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Later, I’m chillin’ by the Tatsunocho River, takin’ a breather. The water’s flowin’ nice, and I’m thinkin’ about life. You know, the usual stuff. Then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Tanaka, feedin’ the ducks. She’s got this huge bag of bread, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s a lotta carbs!” But she’s so sweet, talkin’ to the ducks like they’re her best friends. I can’t help but smile.