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About Kobe

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, right? Not quite a shag, not just a back rub. Hands sliding everywhere, you’re thinking, “Is this legal, mate?” Little known fact: back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries – called “happy endings” since some monk got frisky in the 1600s. True story! Well, probly. Made me happy as a pig in shit first time I tried it – slippery, sexy chaos. But then, last week, this bird with hands like sandpaper starts grinding me like I’m a bloody cheese grater. I’m fuming! “Call that a massage, you twat? I’ve had better from my nan!”

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After that, I decided to stroll down Shinmachi Street. It’s got these cute little shops and cafes. I pop into this tiny coffee shop, and the barista is super friendly. She’s like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Uh, just a regular coffee, please.” But she gives me this fancy latte with a heart on top. I’m not even a latte person, but I gotta admit, it was pretty dope. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

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