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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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So, I’m trying to calm him down while walking past Tarumizu Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the greenery and the pond. I stop to take a breath, and guess what? I see a bunch of kids feeding ducks. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of the ducks starts chasing a kid. I’m dying laughing! Like, who knew ducks could be so aggressive?

Japan puts alerts to the highest level for the Sakurajima volcano after it erupted