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I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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So, I’m walking down Shōwa-dōri, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the shamisen like a rockstar! I’m talking serious talent. I stop to watch, and he’s got this crowd vibing. I’m feeling all the feels, ya know? Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my drink. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see him smile, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man.