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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, investigatin’ insurance claims, and I reckon sex-datin’s a dang minefield. You got folks swipin’ right, lookin’ for love—or somethin’ steamier—on them apps. Tinder, Bumble, whatever! It’s like a strategery to hook up quick. I seen claims, man—people gettin’ catfished, robbed blind, or worse! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, you can’t fool me again, dang it!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. Gotta love those 24/7 spots. Grabbed my usual onigiri and a can of that weird green tea. I swear, it tastes like grass but in a good way? Anyway, I’m munching away, and boom! I spill half my breakfast on the sidewalk. Classic me, right?