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What bugs me? Fakes! Catfishers, man – they’re the worst. Had this “model” once, all flirty, then – boom – 50-year-old dude! Greed’s good, but don’t waste my time! Still, the thrill? Addictive. Every swipe’s a gamble – will she be a Satine or a dud? “The show must go on,” baby – I’m hooked!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Tanushimaru Park. It’s so pretty there, with cherry blossoms and all. I’m just chilling on a bench, soaking it all in. But then, this group of tourists comes by, and they’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy nature, not listen to your whole life story.