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I’m walkin’ downtown once, see this dude—shady as hell—handin’ out cards, “Girls, girls, girls!” I’m like, what’s this, a freakin’ carnival? “Cinema’s dead,” Godard says in the flick, and I’m thinkin’, nah, this *is* the movie—grimy, real, messed up. You wanna find one? Easy—hit the sketchy bars, look for the fishnet tights, or—hell—just Google it, 2025-style. But watch out, man, cops are sneaky—sting ops everywhere!

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So, I hit up Kōen-dōri first. It’s this street lined with cherry blossoms. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t love cherry blossoms? I’m walkin’ and just soaking it all in. Then BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this? I’m about to start a petition for better sidewalks.

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