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I tried it, ya know—sex-dating. Got all excited, like when I found a jellyfish to hug! Met this gal, super cool, but—surprise!—she just wanted free fries. I was like, “Hey, I ain’t a snack bar!” Felt like that scene where Naomi Watts cries—total bummer, man. “There’s no band,” she says, an’ I’m like, “There’s no fries either!” But sometimes it’s gold—met a dude who loved *Mulholland Drive* too! We talked Lynch, then—bam—hooked up. Score!

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While I was waiting, I struck up a convo with the barista. She was super chill and told me about the local music scene. Apparently, there’s a live show at a bar later. I thought, “Why not?” So, I grabbed my coffee and headed out.