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Ooh, once, I matched this fella—thought he’s a catch, shiny scales an’ all. Turns up, he’s got a wife! A WIFE, precious! “I’m lost, help me find me way,” he says, like Nemo’s dad, but nah, I ain’t helpin’ that liar! Kicked him to the curb, hiss! Surprised me, tho—people’s bold, sneakin’ round like eels.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the river. The view from the Takonishi Bridge is insane! The water sparkles, and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my head off! I’m dodging like I’m in the Matrix. Seriously, I’m not ready for bird attacks today!

Egli Tako reacts after leaving Big Brother: I have a void...